FB Issues, Booking Shoots & Getting Out There

This post will be more like an actual diary post, translation: all over the place ^_~

First, my issues with Facebook. Or more accurately, Facebook's issues with me. I have a FB fanpage and before last week I would regularly post a photo or link once or twice a day to that page. Sometimes I would post a FB photo, but also link to my Tumblr post on that image so people could like and reblog it there. Sometimes I would share a censored image and link to the uncensored image. And then other times I would simply post a link to a nude image, but with no preview. I was under the impression that I was well within the TOS and following the rules far more in line than many other models and photographers I've seen. Many of these people have tons more fans than I do, so their pages are seen by far more people (and thus would be more likely to be reported), yet I have issues. I could curse FB all day long, but at the end of the day the fact would remain that I simply can no longer share my Tumblr links there. I tried URL shorteners like Bitly and using Twitters URL for each post, but FB still recognizes it as coming from my Tumblr URL and blocks it. The message I get when I try to post it is that the website is "unsafe."

A non-Facebook safe photo, photographer: Dustin Patrick

What I find even more frustrating is that every single photo or post with a link to my Tumblr has been removed, not just on my page, but on my profile as well. This means all the comments and such are gone as well. On the positive side of that particular issue, I get to upload them and promote them all again which is not so bad.

But this leaves me at a weird place. I'm not sure what to do, really. Right now I'm just trying to get the word out and let people know to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr. I can still post Zivity set links, Etsy shop links, etc. If you have any ideas, please let me know either on Facebook or via e-mail (dekilah at gmail dot com).

Update: Today (the day after this post was written) I logged on to Facebook to find that my Tumblr posts and photos had been restored and that I was able to post my Tumblr link once again. I still am not sure what happened, but I'm glad it's back to normal!

Moving on... I had a great shoot on Saturday with Stein McGee who is a local designer, hair stylist, MUA (and more) and J Singleton who is a photographer. I don't want to give away too much about what the shoot was about, but it is one of Stein's projects and I couldn't be involved with her past events due to time conflicts, so I was thrilled when she contacted me to do a photoshoot. During this photoshoot I got to pose on the roof of Tangent gallery. Tangent is really like a second home to me now, and it's the venue for most of the events I work on. But for this shoot I got to explore areas further up in the building, beyond the gallery and ballroom, that I had never been to before. And of course, I had Mason the very large dog (Rottweiler, I think) to pet on while I was getting ready, and a very bratty little long haired kitty upstairs during the shoots to provide cat-ly presence. I will be sharing these photos as soon as I can and I think you are going to love them!

A FB safe photo, photographer: Aglet Photography

After that shoot, I decided that I really want to start booking more shoots again. I think I've said this about 50 times in the last two years. The problem is kind of... complicated. I moved to Detroit from East TN. In East TN I was one of the top models, and apparently the top nude model. Pretty much everybody knew who I was and I had carefully built up a really good reputation by word of mouth, primarily, from photographers who had shot with me. I had a falling out (over something personal) with a female photographer and part of the community ended up pushing me out, but that was only at the very tail end of my time there and it was already improving when I moved here. I moved into this market with a solid portfolio and already know a fair number of people here, but I feel like I've had to start all over. I've gone to photoshoots and had photographers ask me "Oh do you model much?" It stings a little bit to be honest. I worked so hard as a model for years, only to move someplace and nobody knows who I am.

It seems like I could just start over and do what I did before, but it's not that simple. I have a good portfolio and I have a lot less time than I used to, so doing a bunch of trade shoots regardless of quality just to build up my name is not really a luxury I have time for. I also have health issues, as many of you know, and I do not drive, plus I have car anxiety issues, so I'm kind of cautious about who I ride with, not just for my sake, but because sometimes I have mini panic attacks and it's nothing to do with the driver or how they are driving. I don't really want to spend a lot of time talking about it, but it's an issue and not one that everyone understands.

A really cool conceptual shoot I did with DVS

Anyway... I'm trying to work on booking more shoots. And of course that always has its own set of issues. Here the issue is two fold 1) driving time and 2) finding locations. A lot of people in Detroit don't seem to have a place to shoot, even a home studio (by the way, I actually like home studios if they are done decently well). I don't like the idea of trespassing and every time I bring that up I feel like I hit a wall, but if I don't mention it I get 10 offers wanting me to go to abandoned buildings. I know they can look really cool, but I'm just not comfortable with it. And nobody around here who wants to shoot seems very close to me. I feel like 30 minutes one way is a pretty fair driving time, maybe 45 minutes at most. And it's not like this is out in the country where everyone is really far apart and there aren't that many people. I have decided that possibly there is a field of energy that keeps photographers out of my immediate and somehow myself and my husband have slipped past this radar. This seems to be an acceptable and plausible explanation as I have found no other explanation.

But I'm pushing past all the barriers and making myself stick it out. Sure shooting myself in my living room is arguably easier in some ways, but I only have my style and I actually enjoy collaborating with other people. Plus, I want to do more clothed shoots, more shoots with hair and makeup, and different styles. That is what I LOVE about modeling. I love trying new things. And having my makeup done is pretty much like a state of euphoria for me. Also exciting: Detroit has bodypainters! Like real, live, talented bodypainters! I never had access to anybody like that in TN and now I'm talking to people about at least 2 more bodypaint shoots. My vintage dresses may also be coming out to play soon.

A bodypaint shoot I did with photographer Carl Chen and MUA/bodypainter Erick Gerson

All in all, it's going to be challenging to push myself out there, but I think I can at least get to the point that some more people recognize me. And if my current inboxes are any indication, I can be a very, very busy at modeling again if I want to be ^_^

Where Am I Going

This post was actually inspired by a question a Facebook friend asked, but since this is a topic I'm planning to discuss on its own and not with any other questions, I thought I would just let it be a regular blog post.

First, a little history which I will try to keep brief: I started modeling at about this time in 2009. Prior to a couple brief conversations and failed situations a year or two before, I'd never really considered modeling. Honestly, I'd always thought my intelligence was my strong point and I wasn't really that physically attractive. I had taken a course in photography (slide film in a Pentax K1000) in college, but the instructor was not that inspiring and seemed to particularly dislike me, probably because I wasn't able to drop a few hundred dollars on a better camera like some of the other students, and so I never really considered photography.

An attempt at something gothic inspired from my first shoot, Photographer: John Wilson

Once I got into modeling, and just before, I wanted to do pin-up modeling with cars and gothic/fetish fashion (including latex, gothic Victorian, and Japanese Gothic lolita/elegant lolita). What I ended up doing was a very small amount of self (and not well) styled gothic, and then a lot of portrait type stuff, and then lingerie and swimwear, and then about two months in I started doing nudes. I did a mix of clothed and nudes for a while, then started depending on the shoots (mostly nude) for income, then realized that wasn't going to happen where I lived, and still stuck with mainly nudes because that's what I enjoyed and what I was good at. I never had any inkling of wanting to be a photographer until about a year into being on Zivity. I had some old sets, but that photographer was no longer in the picture and I wanted to shoot more sets to try and bring in a little more income. At first I just did single shots and not really any sets, but I quickly started shooting sets. I just did that for a while, but then I started doing shots just to have one or two photos as "art" and not for a set or anything. I still do that. I shoot a set, and then I'll shoot some concepts.

As far as my freelance modeling (for other photographers) goes, that has slowed down. I used to shoot every week or a couple times a week, but circumstances have changed and I have a pretty decent portfolio so unless a concept really catches my attention or the money is really good and within a short distance, I just don't shoot a lot outside of group shoots, which I love because I can shoot with multiple people all in a day or two and even if one shoot goes a bit wrong, I know I'm still going to get photos from the other shoots to make my time worth it, and I very rarely have a shoot that I get nothing out of anyway. I also enjoy doing workshops, but nobody local to me (within half hour or less) seems to offer them with a good reputation and decent pay.

One of my more experimental self portraits, part of my Blue series

I have never had a real interest in photographing other models or anything else. I photograph myself because I want to model and in order to do that and get photos, I need a photographer. Because I have health, time & transportation issues photographing myself just works. I do like assisting other photographers in shooting other models, helping with posing and lights, etc, but right now I'm just not into the idea of shooting other models. I think this is because most of my ideas are very personal and centered around myself as the model.

So, that's pretty much where I am right now. I haven't been shooting as much self portrait work because my shooting space is constantly filled up with art work and event stuff for the events I work on. I also just don't feel as inspired to shoot now as I did when I first started self portraits. I see less income on my Zivity sets and I haven't done as well selling prints on Etsy as I had hoped. I am working on figuring out how I can do better on both of those sites since I think once I figure that out I might feel more like shooting. A lot of it is also that I just don't have any new ideas that I'm dying to shoot, either. I've shot most of the wardrobe I have and most of what I have left doesn't look good on the background choices I have and since I prefer minimal editing, that is a pretty big factor.

A conceptual piece done with DVS, based on tattoos, done without Photoshop

I am talking to DVS about shooting more with him. I may not feel like shooting myself, but I can model almost any time. It is just the setting up of the camera and lights and backdrop that takes quite a while and often I get so frustrated that I end up not even wanting to shoot by the time I'm done. I know that sounds not so pleasant, but this is my diary and that is the truth. Again, I think cleaning out the space will help when I can do that because then I can leave my lights and such out. Anyway, I've been discussing some concepts with DVS and once a few other things are done, I think we'll definitely be shooting more. And that will probably spark me to shoot more self portraits.

In general, I'd like to start doing more work with make-up (of which I have plenty :P ) and with stylized outfits. Things like cosplay, dark beauty work, pin up, and so on. In line with that I want to start doing more clothed, or partially clothed work. I still want to do nudes, but I'd really like to explore other area of my modeling as well and I know I will have to work hard to get photos that I like as much as my nudes since I've had far more practice with those.

One of my first make-up centered self portraits, I'd like to explore these more

I would also like to experiment more with my lighting and different bulbs. I like continuous lighting and hot lights, and I don't really want to work with flashes or strobes. My space is fairly small (it's a dining room) and the lights I use are also ideal for self portraits because I can see the lighting right away. I want to try some backlit stuff and DVS is showing me how to do that, but the lights have to be positing just right and if I move too much, it's not going to work so it will require even more shooting and checking and back and forth to the camera/my laptop than my usual self portraits do.

I also think at some point in the future I might like to be hired to help in posing and directing models. And maybe one day I will start shooting other models. I haven't totally shunned the idea, I just don't feel it's a good fit for me right now. I might also start to play around with nature photography. I'm a little surprised I haven't already given that I love nature and animals, and tend to notice and focus on them a lot. I just need to get better at angles and perspectives. My snapshots of things are horrible!

I've thought about trying to enter in more shows, but so far that's just been a lot of expense with little to no return. I know that's kind of how it goes, but I don't like pouring money into it without seeing any kind of return. I'd rather share my work online where I at least get feedback and nice comments ^_~ I'll still be showing occasionally, but not on any large scale for a while, I think.

I don't plan to give up either modeling or self portraits any time soon. I have yet to find another art form that I feel successful at and I enjoy it. I like being able to share myself in different ways and modeling is a big part of that.

"Stigmata," a conceptual shoot with Dassault Diaries, I'd love to do more like this