Some Words About Safety

Photographer: Shot by Carl
Model: Dekilah (me)

This is going to sound like common knowledge to a lot of you, particularly if you've been at this a while, but if you're new to modeling or model photographer, or if you're a fan & supporter you might not know these things.

First, safety is an issue for models, but it's one that can be handled professionally and usually effectively with a little common sense and few solid practices. This is what I've done and this has worked for me for 5 years now, and I've yet to have a serious issue.

1) I start by looking at the photographer's portfolio or images they have available. I ask myself "Am I comfortable shooting what I see here?" if not, I either decide to clarify my limits (if I see just a few images past my limits) or I decline the project if it seems like it's just completely out of my zone. I do not care to put myself in a situation where someone thought I was okay with doing something that I simply don't do and I don't assume they read my limits/bio/etc if it looks like they haven't.

2) I always clarify any relevant limits in pre-shoot communication. For example, for an art nude shoot I might say: "Just to remind you, I'm comfortable with full nudes, but no open leg and no close up shots of my pubic area unless we discuss it first." I feel like telling people what I am willing to do and then mentioning a couple key boundaries cuts out the room for misunderstanding.

3) If someone seems like they're pushing my lines in pre-shoot communication I kindly set them straight right away. It's my job to decide what limits I want to push, I never, ever let myself be talked into something even if it's something I might want to try some day. My rule here is that I only shoot it if I'm 100% confident that I'm going to be okay with what I'm showing. If I'm not sure, I wait until I am.

4) If anything seems fishy or if I ask around and get icky feedback that is consistent, I don't book that shoot. I don't care how good the pay is or how talented the person is. My safety is number one. That being said, I also don't believe everything I hear. I don't place huge importance on second or third hand stuff. I like to talk to models who have actually worked with a photographer (or possibly a photographer who shot with them at a group shoot). And I ask for specifics on what happened. "I don't like him" isn't enough and "Oh, I heard that he's a creeper" (with no evidence) isn't working for me either, unless I hear it from multiple first hand sources.

5) Along with what I covered in #4, I trust my own instincts. If the photographer comes off as creepy to me, I don't shoot with them no matter how many glowing references they have. Even if I'm wrong, and I haven't been so far, I don't think the shoot would go well if I feel like something is off with the photographer.

6) Once the shoot is booked and I arrive, I stay smart during the shoot. I don't flirt with the photographer and I don't feed any casual flirting they may do. Sometimes they can do that because they're nervous or trying to make light and that's totally fine, and I'll smile or laugh a little, but I don't continue on with it. I know we all say that a shoot is a professional place and everyone should just magically understand that anything is just in fun and it's fine, but I still try to remember that given our social norms that nudity and lingerie still aren't something most people see every day. Translation: I don't hug the photographer naked, I don't wiggle my butt suggestively, and I don't say things like "I bet you think I look really sexy right now, don't you?"

7) I always make sure someone knows where I'll be shooting and I text when I arrive/start shooting and then when I'm done shooting (and would again when I got home if that was relevant). I don't make a big show of it, but it's a good way to let the photographer know that you are in contact with someone. I do not text during the shoot. The only time I might text again would be during a break of a long shoot.

8) If the photographer asks me to do a pose or concept I'm not comfortable with I calmly say "I'm not really comfortable with that, can we try something else?" Of the two times this has happened, the photographer then apologized, and we moved on. It really doesn't need to be any more than that. However, if the photographer continues to push and you have to say no more than one more time, that's when I would consider ending the shoot, putting on my robe, or something else quick, calling someone immediately to chat with while I pack up (not about the situation necessarily, let's not feed the fire, but just to make it clear that you're in touch), and just leave. This has NEVER happened to me, but this is probably what I'd do if I did. But in any case, the important thing is not to start a fight or a huge argument with the photographer.

9) If you feel you need to bring someone to a shoot for your safety, you probably shouldn't be doing that shoot. By the way, I don't shoot with an "escort" now but I have in the past. Yes, I know that probably surprises some of you, but I wasn't doing it for safety other than for a handful of cases (which were private, paid shoots in someone's home and the someone was not a serious photographer). I had someone with me because I felt more comfortable that way. I used to be very, very shy and didn't have a lot of confidence. But as I continued to shoot more, I would just have them drop me off and pick me up later. Now I have someone who drives me, walks me to the door, and then comes back later (which is commonly called a "driver" not an "escort) as I do not drive at all. I think a driver is actually a good compromise for an escort for those who might not be comfortable just going it alone completely. And you know what? That is understandable. Women are told from very, very early on to make sure they take every safety precaution and if they get attacked maybe it was because they did something wrong. I hope that photographers understand this and even if a photographer feels they are awesomely trustworthy and wouldn't hurt a fly, at least try to understand that we probably believe you, but we also have this fear put into us. I know this is a touchy subject, but it's relevant.

10) Make sure that you are cautious of your surroundings when you are shooting. A studio is usually fine, but if you're shooting out doors or on location, there could be people around or even things you could step on, fall off of, etc. Don't be afraid to say that you're not okay climbing on something in those high heels. Don't be afraid to let the photographer help you up or down either. I know physical contact can seem a little uncomfortable for some of us (me included), but if it seems genuine, don't worry about it.

11) Remember that with some styles of shooting accidents happen. If you're being body painted or doing rope bondage work, it's very likely a part of your may be touched that wouldn't normally be. Unless you are 100% sure it was done on purpose and with the intent to grope you, don't make a big deal of it. Usually photographers will ask before they touch you, but please don't flip out if they don't. If it makes you uncomfortable, just say something like "Oh! You surprised me. I wasn't expecting you to touch me. Let me know next time, please?" Sometimes photographers get really into a shot and they forget that some models are not comfortable being touched, especially when they've worked with models who don't mind. If it just happens once, let it go. Someone who continues to do it after you made it clear they should let you know first, that could be an issue, but follow your instincts. Most photographers are good people.

So there are my words about safety. Obviously, nothing is 100% effective for every person in every case, but this set of rules has been good to me and I've been told they work for others, so I wanted to share them with you. In addition to all of what I have written here I strongly suggest all models find a few other models who shoot similar styles in their area and talk with them regularly on who is good to shoot with, who isn't, etc. Many areas have FB groups for this purpose as well.

If you found this helpful, I encourage you to share it, so feel free to share the link as much as you'd like. If you'd like to do anything other than that, please drop me an e-mail along with the link to the article and we can discuss it. My e-mail is dekilah@gmail.com.