Some Words About Safety

Photographer: Shot by Carl
Model: Dekilah (me)

This is going to sound like common knowledge to a lot of you, particularly if you've been at this a while, but if you're new to modeling or model photographer, or if you're a fan & supporter you might not know these things.

First, safety is an issue for models, but it's one that can be handled professionally and usually effectively with a little common sense and few solid practices. This is what I've done and this has worked for me for 5 years now, and I've yet to have a serious issue.

1) I start by looking at the photographer's portfolio or images they have available. I ask myself "Am I comfortable shooting what I see here?" if not, I either decide to clarify my limits (if I see just a few images past my limits) or I decline the project if it seems like it's just completely out of my zone. I do not care to put myself in a situation where someone thought I was okay with doing something that I simply don't do and I don't assume they read my limits/bio/etc if it looks like they haven't.

2) I always clarify any relevant limits in pre-shoot communication. For example, for an art nude shoot I might say: "Just to remind you, I'm comfortable with full nudes, but no open leg and no close up shots of my pubic area unless we discuss it first." I feel like telling people what I am willing to do and then mentioning a couple key boundaries cuts out the room for misunderstanding.

3) If someone seems like they're pushing my lines in pre-shoot communication I kindly set them straight right away. It's my job to decide what limits I want to push, I never, ever let myself be talked into something even if it's something I might want to try some day. My rule here is that I only shoot it if I'm 100% confident that I'm going to be okay with what I'm showing. If I'm not sure, I wait until I am.

4) If anything seems fishy or if I ask around and get icky feedback that is consistent, I don't book that shoot. I don't care how good the pay is or how talented the person is. My safety is number one. That being said, I also don't believe everything I hear. I don't place huge importance on second or third hand stuff. I like to talk to models who have actually worked with a photographer (or possibly a photographer who shot with them at a group shoot). And I ask for specifics on what happened. "I don't like him" isn't enough and "Oh, I heard that he's a creeper" (with no evidence) isn't working for me either, unless I hear it from multiple first hand sources.

5) Along with what I covered in #4, I trust my own instincts. If the photographer comes off as creepy to me, I don't shoot with them no matter how many glowing references they have. Even if I'm wrong, and I haven't been so far, I don't think the shoot would go well if I feel like something is off with the photographer.

6) Once the shoot is booked and I arrive, I stay smart during the shoot. I don't flirt with the photographer and I don't feed any casual flirting they may do. Sometimes they can do that because they're nervous or trying to make light and that's totally fine, and I'll smile or laugh a little, but I don't continue on with it. I know we all say that a shoot is a professional place and everyone should just magically understand that anything is just in fun and it's fine, but I still try to remember that given our social norms that nudity and lingerie still aren't something most people see every day. Translation: I don't hug the photographer naked, I don't wiggle my butt suggestively, and I don't say things like "I bet you think I look really sexy right now, don't you?"

7) I always make sure someone knows where I'll be shooting and I text when I arrive/start shooting and then when I'm done shooting (and would again when I got home if that was relevant). I don't make a big show of it, but it's a good way to let the photographer know that you are in contact with someone. I do not text during the shoot. The only time I might text again would be during a break of a long shoot.

8) If the photographer asks me to do a pose or concept I'm not comfortable with I calmly say "I'm not really comfortable with that, can we try something else?" Of the two times this has happened, the photographer then apologized, and we moved on. It really doesn't need to be any more than that. However, if the photographer continues to push and you have to say no more than one more time, that's when I would consider ending the shoot, putting on my robe, or something else quick, calling someone immediately to chat with while I pack up (not about the situation necessarily, let's not feed the fire, but just to make it clear that you're in touch), and just leave. This has NEVER happened to me, but this is probably what I'd do if I did. But in any case, the important thing is not to start a fight or a huge argument with the photographer.

9) If you feel you need to bring someone to a shoot for your safety, you probably shouldn't be doing that shoot. By the way, I don't shoot with an "escort" now but I have in the past. Yes, I know that probably surprises some of you, but I wasn't doing it for safety other than for a handful of cases (which were private, paid shoots in someone's home and the someone was not a serious photographer). I had someone with me because I felt more comfortable that way. I used to be very, very shy and didn't have a lot of confidence. But as I continued to shoot more, I would just have them drop me off and pick me up later. Now I have someone who drives me, walks me to the door, and then comes back later (which is commonly called a "driver" not an "escort) as I do not drive at all. I think a driver is actually a good compromise for an escort for those who might not be comfortable just going it alone completely. And you know what? That is understandable. Women are told from very, very early on to make sure they take every safety precaution and if they get attacked maybe it was because they did something wrong. I hope that photographers understand this and even if a photographer feels they are awesomely trustworthy and wouldn't hurt a fly, at least try to understand that we probably believe you, but we also have this fear put into us. I know this is a touchy subject, but it's relevant.

10) Make sure that you are cautious of your surroundings when you are shooting. A studio is usually fine, but if you're shooting out doors or on location, there could be people around or even things you could step on, fall off of, etc. Don't be afraid to say that you're not okay climbing on something in those high heels. Don't be afraid to let the photographer help you up or down either. I know physical contact can seem a little uncomfortable for some of us (me included), but if it seems genuine, don't worry about it.

11) Remember that with some styles of shooting accidents happen. If you're being body painted or doing rope bondage work, it's very likely a part of your may be touched that wouldn't normally be. Unless you are 100% sure it was done on purpose and with the intent to grope you, don't make a big deal of it. Usually photographers will ask before they touch you, but please don't flip out if they don't. If it makes you uncomfortable, just say something like "Oh! You surprised me. I wasn't expecting you to touch me. Let me know next time, please?" Sometimes photographers get really into a shot and they forget that some models are not comfortable being touched, especially when they've worked with models who don't mind. If it just happens once, let it go. Someone who continues to do it after you made it clear they should let you know first, that could be an issue, but follow your instincts. Most photographers are good people.

So there are my words about safety. Obviously, nothing is 100% effective for every person in every case, but this set of rules has been good to me and I've been told they work for others, so I wanted to share them with you. In addition to all of what I have written here I strongly suggest all models find a few other models who shoot similar styles in their area and talk with them regularly on who is good to shoot with, who isn't, etc. Many areas have FB groups for this purpose as well.

If you found this helpful, I encourage you to share it, so feel free to share the link as much as you'd like. If you'd like to do anything other than that, please drop me an e-mail along with the link to the article and we can discuss it. My e-mail is dekilah@gmail.com.

On Tattoos & Being A "Natural" Model

Anybody who has seen me naked (which is probably everyone reading this) knows I don't have any tattoos. I also don't have any piercings other than standard single ear piercings which I very, very rarely (like once a year) wear earrings in. But I'm not sure how many people actually know why. Or how many of you know about one type of tattoos that I have a not so secret, but kind of secret, obsession with.

One of my secret tattoo love photos ^_~
Photographer: Joshua Winstead, Henna by Magic Monkey Mehendi

First off, I am not anti-tattoos. I have many, many friends who have some beautiful tattoos. And I've seen my fair share of horribly done tattoos as well. I think they are just like anything else: if done well, they can be very beautiful, and if not, they can look pretty bad. I also think sometimes it doesn't matter how they look to the rest of us sometimes because many people get tattoos for specific reasons and to remind them of certain people or experiences in their lives. So to those of us on the outside looking it, the tattoo might be horrible, or badly placed, or inconsistent with the rest of their pieces, but to them, maybe that tattoo has a beautiful meaning or purpose.

When I was younger I actually thought I might get some tattoos. Something pretty extravagant too, like a huge cherry blossom tree on my back, or a big panther going down my back and butt, and with the tail around my leg, or a koi fish along my side. A lot of this was "inspired" by the guys I was interested in at the time since they all seemed to just love tattoos and thought tattooed women were very sexy. And bottom line, I wanted to be sexy because I really didn't feel very sexually attractive at the time. I know that sounds a little negative, but it's the truth.

Then I decided (or rather remembered) that I don't like needles and, more importantly, I don't like permanent things on my body. I used to dye my hair less natural colors because I knew I could always dye it back and/or it would finally grow out. The beauty and the drawback of tattoos are that they are pretty much forever (with some exceptions). And for me, that's just not something I want. I like to be able to be (or at least look) completely natural, so I've actively chosen not to modify my body in any permanent way.

And to me that is a conscious choice, just like people consciously choose to be modified. And I think conscious choices are something to be respected.

What's really kind of amusing is that sometimes I feel like the "odd" one because I don't have tattoos. I don't mean that as a bad thing, but I do find it interesting that as much as people say they want "natural" models, most of the most successful freelance models I know have tattoos. If I look on Zivity, I actually can't name more than a couple other fairly active Zivity models who are unmodified, though I know there are a few more at least.

I also find it interesting that so, so many photographers claim they want natural models, so I should be in quite high demand and able to charge somewhat of a premium rate, but I can tell you quite honestly that it is certainly not the case. Sometimes I wonder if I might actually be more successful if I did dye my hair a bold color and get some very tasteful large tattoos. Of course, I would never do those things because they would not be me and I would quickly wish I had not done them, but as a model, I do wonder. And before you flip out and try to tell me I should never change just for modeling and I am fine the way I am... cool your jets. Models wonder about these things. I think everyone does. But for models, this is our job and we do wonder if we could make changes that would increase our earnings. I don't hate my hair at all, I quite love it, and I definitely don't hate my body.

I actually just ordered some wigs thanks go my very supportive husband who made me go pick some out. I picked two in very unnatural colors and I'm sure you'll be seeing them soon after they arrive. The ones I chose were both curly with bangs/fringe. If I like these, I am sure I will be getting more. I think they'll be great for cosplay and fun for mixing up my look in photos, too.

Photographer: Joshua Winstead, Henna by Magic Monkey Mehendi

 And as for tattoos... I do have that secret tattoo love I mentioned at the start of this: henna (which is what is all of the photos in this post). It lasts just the right amount of time and the deep red on my skin tone is quite lovely. Unfortunately, it's quite expensive and good artists can be hard to find. I've had a couple friends in the past that did my henna, but they both moved away from me. I'm working on some projects to turn my body into a canvas again, so if you know any Detroit artists interested in working on a nude/semi nude tiny model canvas, let me know ^_~

I absolutely love having henna-ed feet!
Photographer: Trinity Roy, Henna by Magic Monkey Mehendi

Also, I do have a special project on Tumblr where I share nude, lingerie, and similar photos of un-modified women (basically, no piercings aside from single earrings, no plastic surgery, no tattoos). I am always looking for submissions and more followers: http://untouchedskinblog.tumblr.com ^_^

My Video Plan

Those of you who follow me on Facebook, either my profile or my page, probably saw me talking about videos over the end of this past week. I started Thursday with a short cell-phone clip of my voice saying thank you for reaching 1,250 followers on my Facebook page. This was my first speaking video ever published. Friday I finally uploaded a video of myself taking a shower, which was met with a lot of excitement, but then when I actually made it available for 20 votes on Zivity or something of similar value on my wishlist, nobody really jumped on the offer, or at least not that quickly. Which is okay, and I think I know why, but I'll get back to that in a moment. Then Friday night I did a test video of a nude blogging idea I had.

This isn't the first time I've experimented with video. I have a few art nude type videos up on Vimeo and a few hair brushing and foot fetish related videos between Vimeo and YouTube. To date, the foot fetish videos, with just one exception, have all been filmed in the tub with my cell phone. I've done a couple other videos similar to them showing other parts of my body and my face with my cell phone as well. I've done themed hair brushing and braiding videos. For example, I have one in a girdle skirt and a cardigan with pearls for a vintage feel. I've also done one that was just me in underwear brushing my hair. And finally, and first for me in terms of what I've filmed, are more artistic nude and lingerie videos of me doing this combination of slowly posing/dancing. Here is an example:

Many time I've run into the issue that 1) I can't post nude videos just any where and 2) In order to upload consistently as I would like to do, I really need to upgrade my Vimeo account. I also had a little creative hiccup where I was starting to drift a little bit from my personal goals and standards/limits. To be quite honest, I wanted to do things that I thought would garner me the most attention and the most views, and I think that is easily nude stuff. I was going to do a nude vlogging series. However, this again brings in the issue that I need more space on my Vimeo. I also feel that it would be taken as very sexual, even if I don't mean it to be.

So... after thinking about this way too much this weekend and really examining my goals, here is what I have decided to do:
1) More art nude videos like this: https://vimeo.com/86478562
2) More sensual lingerie and such like these two: http://youtu.be/12x3SI36kUc and http://youtu.be/MYk8oPXLjKA
3) A special hair brushing/play/etc project involving creating characters and scenes and so on.
4) More of the simple foot fetish videos I film on my cell.
5) A lingerie vlogging series.

Now before you pitch a fit and ask why I'm not doing the nudes as a vlog series, here is why: I can't post those confidently on YouTube and I cannot monetize them on YouTube. I don't want to post my videos on porn sites, so I need to create content that fits the guidelines of YouTube where I can monetize the content (via ads). I haven't had a lot of luck selling videos outside of specific types for Zivity sets. And I totally get why. There is a lot of nude video content that is free and I don't currently have a market of people who want to pay video by video to here me vlog about things. And as I said earlier, I feel like the fun part of vlogging and my personality and such might be overshadowed by the "OMG, she's naked! Boobs!" nonsense. I post nude photos all the time and I will keep doing nude artistic videos and all of the nude photos I can find to do. But really, I think I can make things fun and hopefully at least somewhat entertaining while wearing lingerie too. I don't have to be nude to be interesting, right? I'd like to explore some new styles, including non-nude work and I think this might be a fun way to do that.

With these videos, I will also be doing unboxing type videos from now on when I receive gifts from fans. I will thank you by name (unless requested otherwise) and when possible, I'll probably do a two part video. One part showing the items, and then another part trying it on. Since these will hopefully be YouTube safe, there won't be any nudity, though. I will still send each gift giver person of awesome a few cell phone photos of me trying the item on for the first time in my hallway mirror.

As far as the nude videos, those will all be going on Vimeo, along with any fetish videos (though YouTube safe fetish videos will go there as well). I am hoping that I can upgrade my Vimeo to Vimeo Plus which will allow me to enable something called Tip Jar which allows people to easily (I think) tip me for videos they like.

Oh, and for my Zivity fans, for a certain number of votes (to be decided, input welcome) I will do a simple, but very sincere thank you video probably hand-holding my phone and focused on my face. I am also planning to do more videos to go with sets as incentives for that.

So how can you help me with this endeavor if you want to? Lovely question ^_~ Here are the ways I can think of:
1) Help me upgrade my Vimeo. It costs $9.95 for a month, or $59.95 for a year. This upgrade will get me the Tip Jar function, but will also allow me to upload a lot more content (so more than one video per week). This is my top priority. Here is info on that: https://vimeo.com/upgrade1v2
2) Get me things from my wishlist that I can do unboxing videos on (which is anything on the list) or suggest items that you would like to see me have and be interested in getting for me. My wishlist (be sure to look on the left for categories): http://amzn.com/w/3IM2J0NK4WZ1L
3) Vote for my sets on Zivity. I generally use the money I get from Zivity to put back into my modeling either for make-up or wardrobe, unless I have a bill come up that absolutely must get paid first. You can see my Zivity sets here: https://www.zivity.com/users/Dekilah

If you want to chat with me about this, you can PM me on Facebook or e-mail me at dekilah@gmail.com. I am open to ideas for videos within the themes I mentioned too ^_^ I hope you guys will be as excited about these new and continued ideas as I am telling you about them!

A cute casual self portrait

My Weekend: FCBD & Detroit Rummage

I had an amazing weekend, so of course I wanted make a diary entry about it ^_^ Though, admittedly, this has taken me a little longer than I wanted to actually get together.

Saturday was Free Comic Book Day, and it was my first FCBD ever because apparently I am super late to the party. I went to Green Brain Comics because that is my official comic book store of choice. I went in there a while ago with my husband to drop off some flyers and ended up spotting Bodie Troll comics right away. Bodie Troll issues #3 and #4 were my first comic purchases ever (for myself). I finally got #1 and #2 off of Ebay since they couldn't get them in the store. And for FCBD I got the special FCBD issue and a coloring book ^_^ Annnnnd a picture with the Bodie Troll creator Jay Fosgitt!

Me with Jay ^_^ Yes, I am that tiny :P

I also got drawn as a cat doing human things by another awesome artist named Rachel Polk. I picked up the two little mini comics she had featuring cats (of course) and an adorable little chubby bird. In case it's not obvious, I like cute things. I know I like to dress like an evil queen and I know I pose nude and stuff, but I love cute things and I love animals. Seriously. Bring a pony or a large dog in front of me and I will stop pretty much anything else I am doing in a hurry so I can pet it.

Me drawn as a cat with a camera, by Rachel Polk

My cute little signed comics by Rachel Polk

And of course I got several other things as well. The ones on the left were all free comics, and the ones on the right were things I purchased. Sorry about the bad lighting in some of these, I am horrible at cell phone photos and I really wanted to get this post published.

Then I went down the the Tangent Gallery, aka one of my homes away from home, to help DVS hang a couple pieces of art for the Gates of Ra event. That got a little bit crazy since it was a "DIY," hang your own art situation, but they hadn't figured out the wall space yet. Luckily, this meant I got to chat with Jason of Motor City Bonsai who also helps manage the Chaos Talent models group with and help him unpack some awesome little clay mushrooms. If you haven't seen his bonsais and pottery, you should go check out Motor City Bonsai on Facebook! Oh, and remember this self portrait I posted a bit ago? That is one of his creations I am holding.

The Offering, a self portrait by Dekilah

The rest of Saturday was spent preparing for the 1st Detroit Rummage sale. Sunday morning DVS and I arrived to find that the show before us hadn't cleared out all of their stuff yet, so we had to scramble to move things around. Thank goodness for Joe, the owner of Tangent (who is always awesome), and a couple vendors who had booths and came in early, since they helped us move all that stuff. A bit later on, a very awesome fan of mine stopped by to help, too. There for a couple hours I was totally on super quick event elf mode getting all of the vendors in their spaces, helping them figure out where to load in, and solving some minor issues. Once the event opened, everyone settled in and things went really well.

I sold a lot of my clothes and accessories I brought, and I even found some stuff to buy too. I'm sure I'll be featuring them in future outfits and photos. My favorite part of the whole of event was seeing all the friends that were there and getting to meet a few of my FB friends/fans. Apparently I look both shorter and younger in person ^_~ Just for fun here is a photo of me posing with a giant Darth Vader head that was at the event:

FB Issues, Booking Shoots & Getting Out There

This post will be more like an actual diary post, translation: all over the place ^_~

First, my issues with Facebook. Or more accurately, Facebook's issues with me. I have a FB fanpage and before last week I would regularly post a photo or link once or twice a day to that page. Sometimes I would post a FB photo, but also link to my Tumblr post on that image so people could like and reblog it there. Sometimes I would share a censored image and link to the uncensored image. And then other times I would simply post a link to a nude image, but with no preview. I was under the impression that I was well within the TOS and following the rules far more in line than many other models and photographers I've seen. Many of these people have tons more fans than I do, so their pages are seen by far more people (and thus would be more likely to be reported), yet I have issues. I could curse FB all day long, but at the end of the day the fact would remain that I simply can no longer share my Tumblr links there. I tried URL shorteners like Bitly and using Twitters URL for each post, but FB still recognizes it as coming from my Tumblr URL and blocks it. The message I get when I try to post it is that the website is "unsafe."

A non-Facebook safe photo, photographer: Dustin Patrick

What I find even more frustrating is that every single photo or post with a link to my Tumblr has been removed, not just on my page, but on my profile as well. This means all the comments and such are gone as well. On the positive side of that particular issue, I get to upload them and promote them all again which is not so bad.

But this leaves me at a weird place. I'm not sure what to do, really. Right now I'm just trying to get the word out and let people know to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr. I can still post Zivity set links, Etsy shop links, etc. If you have any ideas, please let me know either on Facebook or via e-mail (dekilah at gmail dot com).

Update: Today (the day after this post was written) I logged on to Facebook to find that my Tumblr posts and photos had been restored and that I was able to post my Tumblr link once again. I still am not sure what happened, but I'm glad it's back to normal!

Moving on... I had a great shoot on Saturday with Stein McGee who is a local designer, hair stylist, MUA (and more) and J Singleton who is a photographer. I don't want to give away too much about what the shoot was about, but it is one of Stein's projects and I couldn't be involved with her past events due to time conflicts, so I was thrilled when she contacted me to do a photoshoot. During this photoshoot I got to pose on the roof of Tangent gallery. Tangent is really like a second home to me now, and it's the venue for most of the events I work on. But for this shoot I got to explore areas further up in the building, beyond the gallery and ballroom, that I had never been to before. And of course, I had Mason the very large dog (Rottweiler, I think) to pet on while I was getting ready, and a very bratty little long haired kitty upstairs during the shoots to provide cat-ly presence. I will be sharing these photos as soon as I can and I think you are going to love them!

A FB safe photo, photographer: Aglet Photography

After that shoot, I decided that I really want to start booking more shoots again. I think I've said this about 50 times in the last two years. The problem is kind of... complicated. I moved to Detroit from East TN. In East TN I was one of the top models, and apparently the top nude model. Pretty much everybody knew who I was and I had carefully built up a really good reputation by word of mouth, primarily, from photographers who had shot with me. I had a falling out (over something personal) with a female photographer and part of the community ended up pushing me out, but that was only at the very tail end of my time there and it was already improving when I moved here. I moved into this market with a solid portfolio and already know a fair number of people here, but I feel like I've had to start all over. I've gone to photoshoots and had photographers ask me "Oh do you model much?" It stings a little bit to be honest. I worked so hard as a model for years, only to move someplace and nobody knows who I am.

It seems like I could just start over and do what I did before, but it's not that simple. I have a good portfolio and I have a lot less time than I used to, so doing a bunch of trade shoots regardless of quality just to build up my name is not really a luxury I have time for. I also have health issues, as many of you know, and I do not drive, plus I have car anxiety issues, so I'm kind of cautious about who I ride with, not just for my sake, but because sometimes I have mini panic attacks and it's nothing to do with the driver or how they are driving. I don't really want to spend a lot of time talking about it, but it's an issue and not one that everyone understands.

A really cool conceptual shoot I did with DVS

Anyway... I'm trying to work on booking more shoots. And of course that always has its own set of issues. Here the issue is two fold 1) driving time and 2) finding locations. A lot of people in Detroit don't seem to have a place to shoot, even a home studio (by the way, I actually like home studios if they are done decently well). I don't like the idea of trespassing and every time I bring that up I feel like I hit a wall, but if I don't mention it I get 10 offers wanting me to go to abandoned buildings. I know they can look really cool, but I'm just not comfortable with it. And nobody around here who wants to shoot seems very close to me. I feel like 30 minutes one way is a pretty fair driving time, maybe 45 minutes at most. And it's not like this is out in the country where everyone is really far apart and there aren't that many people. I have decided that possibly there is a field of energy that keeps photographers out of my immediate and somehow myself and my husband have slipped past this radar. This seems to be an acceptable and plausible explanation as I have found no other explanation.

But I'm pushing past all the barriers and making myself stick it out. Sure shooting myself in my living room is arguably easier in some ways, but I only have my style and I actually enjoy collaborating with other people. Plus, I want to do more clothed shoots, more shoots with hair and makeup, and different styles. That is what I LOVE about modeling. I love trying new things. And having my makeup done is pretty much like a state of euphoria for me. Also exciting: Detroit has bodypainters! Like real, live, talented bodypainters! I never had access to anybody like that in TN and now I'm talking to people about at least 2 more bodypaint shoots. My vintage dresses may also be coming out to play soon.

A bodypaint shoot I did with photographer Carl Chen and MUA/bodypainter Erick Gerson

All in all, it's going to be challenging to push myself out there, but I think I can at least get to the point that some more people recognize me. And if my current inboxes are any indication, I can be a very, very busy at modeling again if I want to be ^_^

Where Am I Going

This post was actually inspired by a question a Facebook friend asked, but since this is a topic I'm planning to discuss on its own and not with any other questions, I thought I would just let it be a regular blog post.

First, a little history which I will try to keep brief: I started modeling at about this time in 2009. Prior to a couple brief conversations and failed situations a year or two before, I'd never really considered modeling. Honestly, I'd always thought my intelligence was my strong point and I wasn't really that physically attractive. I had taken a course in photography (slide film in a Pentax K1000) in college, but the instructor was not that inspiring and seemed to particularly dislike me, probably because I wasn't able to drop a few hundred dollars on a better camera like some of the other students, and so I never really considered photography.

An attempt at something gothic inspired from my first shoot, Photographer: John Wilson

Once I got into modeling, and just before, I wanted to do pin-up modeling with cars and gothic/fetish fashion (including latex, gothic Victorian, and Japanese Gothic lolita/elegant lolita). What I ended up doing was a very small amount of self (and not well) styled gothic, and then a lot of portrait type stuff, and then lingerie and swimwear, and then about two months in I started doing nudes. I did a mix of clothed and nudes for a while, then started depending on the shoots (mostly nude) for income, then realized that wasn't going to happen where I lived, and still stuck with mainly nudes because that's what I enjoyed and what I was good at. I never had any inkling of wanting to be a photographer until about a year into being on Zivity. I had some old sets, but that photographer was no longer in the picture and I wanted to shoot more sets to try and bring in a little more income. At first I just did single shots and not really any sets, but I quickly started shooting sets. I just did that for a while, but then I started doing shots just to have one or two photos as "art" and not for a set or anything. I still do that. I shoot a set, and then I'll shoot some concepts.

As far as my freelance modeling (for other photographers) goes, that has slowed down. I used to shoot every week or a couple times a week, but circumstances have changed and I have a pretty decent portfolio so unless a concept really catches my attention or the money is really good and within a short distance, I just don't shoot a lot outside of group shoots, which I love because I can shoot with multiple people all in a day or two and even if one shoot goes a bit wrong, I know I'm still going to get photos from the other shoots to make my time worth it, and I very rarely have a shoot that I get nothing out of anyway. I also enjoy doing workshops, but nobody local to me (within half hour or less) seems to offer them with a good reputation and decent pay.

One of my more experimental self portraits, part of my Blue series

I have never had a real interest in photographing other models or anything else. I photograph myself because I want to model and in order to do that and get photos, I need a photographer. Because I have health, time & transportation issues photographing myself just works. I do like assisting other photographers in shooting other models, helping with posing and lights, etc, but right now I'm just not into the idea of shooting other models. I think this is because most of my ideas are very personal and centered around myself as the model.

So, that's pretty much where I am right now. I haven't been shooting as much self portrait work because my shooting space is constantly filled up with art work and event stuff for the events I work on. I also just don't feel as inspired to shoot now as I did when I first started self portraits. I see less income on my Zivity sets and I haven't done as well selling prints on Etsy as I had hoped. I am working on figuring out how I can do better on both of those sites since I think once I figure that out I might feel more like shooting. A lot of it is also that I just don't have any new ideas that I'm dying to shoot, either. I've shot most of the wardrobe I have and most of what I have left doesn't look good on the background choices I have and since I prefer minimal editing, that is a pretty big factor.

A conceptual piece done with DVS, based on tattoos, done without Photoshop

I am talking to DVS about shooting more with him. I may not feel like shooting myself, but I can model almost any time. It is just the setting up of the camera and lights and backdrop that takes quite a while and often I get so frustrated that I end up not even wanting to shoot by the time I'm done. I know that sounds not so pleasant, but this is my diary and that is the truth. Again, I think cleaning out the space will help when I can do that because then I can leave my lights and such out. Anyway, I've been discussing some concepts with DVS and once a few other things are done, I think we'll definitely be shooting more. And that will probably spark me to shoot more self portraits.

In general, I'd like to start doing more work with make-up (of which I have plenty :P ) and with stylized outfits. Things like cosplay, dark beauty work, pin up, and so on. In line with that I want to start doing more clothed, or partially clothed work. I still want to do nudes, but I'd really like to explore other area of my modeling as well and I know I will have to work hard to get photos that I like as much as my nudes since I've had far more practice with those.

One of my first make-up centered self portraits, I'd like to explore these more

I would also like to experiment more with my lighting and different bulbs. I like continuous lighting and hot lights, and I don't really want to work with flashes or strobes. My space is fairly small (it's a dining room) and the lights I use are also ideal for self portraits because I can see the lighting right away. I want to try some backlit stuff and DVS is showing me how to do that, but the lights have to be positing just right and if I move too much, it's not going to work so it will require even more shooting and checking and back and forth to the camera/my laptop than my usual self portraits do.

I also think at some point in the future I might like to be hired to help in posing and directing models. And maybe one day I will start shooting other models. I haven't totally shunned the idea, I just don't feel it's a good fit for me right now. I might also start to play around with nature photography. I'm a little surprised I haven't already given that I love nature and animals, and tend to notice and focus on them a lot. I just need to get better at angles and perspectives. My snapshots of things are horrible!

I've thought about trying to enter in more shows, but so far that's just been a lot of expense with little to no return. I know that's kind of how it goes, but I don't like pouring money into it without seeing any kind of return. I'd rather share my work online where I at least get feedback and nice comments ^_~ I'll still be showing occasionally, but not on any large scale for a while, I think.

I don't plan to give up either modeling or self portraits any time soon. I have yet to find another art form that I feel successful at and I enjoy it. I like being able to share myself in different ways and modeling is a big part of that.

"Stigmata," a conceptual shoot with Dassault Diaries, I'd love to do more like this

Q & A #2: Comfort Zones & Conceptual Shoots

And here we go with #2 in my Q & A series ^_^ This time I'm just going to copy and paste the question:

"How about stepping out of your comfort zone or being ready to try new things. Sometimes models are presented with a concept that may seem unfamiliar but the end result is great. Could mean trying new unusual poses."

This question is really interesting and because I know the person who asked, I'm hoping I can answer it even better than I might have just as a standard question. I'm not going to say any more about the person because I generally keep people anonymous in these sorts of things unless asked to do otherwise. ^_~

I think as I've became more and more experienced in my modeling in the past, I ran into the issue that I was starting to get a little frustrated with doing the same thing over and over. I'm not even sure I realized that was why I was frustrated, but I now know it was. I still enjoyed modeling, I just needed more from it sometimes. This is where conceptual work really comes in nicely. It allows me to take a break from my art nudes and to focus more on becoming a character. For me becoming a character is a bit of a challenge because I am a horrible actress. I'm also horrible at lying. Seriously. So what I have to do is reach inside myself and pull out parts of myself that fit that character and work from there. Here an example where I am the Evil Queen from Snow White:

"The Solution," a collaboration with DVS

I really enjoyed this image because I love the Evil Queen and I love getting all dressed up. It was a lot of work and putting the outfit together with DVS was a real challenge. The fact that he shoots everything in studio and that nothing is "photoshopped" in makes it even more challenging in a fun way. 

Other times conceptual work might just mean working with a specific mood or props or in a certain location, etc, rather than bringing together a whole separate character. I used to be horrible with props. I didn't want to do the same things I'd seen over and over, unless the photographer requested it or it was the only option, and then I didn't know what else to do. It took some time to learn to step outside of my comfort zone of just posing myself and learning to pose with an object. Usually, I start by interacting in a way that seems normal (reading a book, for example), then I might try adjusting the position of the book, then I might start moving away from using the book in any practical way and focus on moving around it. I may lay it on the ground next to my feet or hold it in front of my face. I just keep going until I run out of ideas with it, no matter how odd they may seem. Plus, when I'm doing this, it gives the photographer a chance to just shoot and see what comes of it, or maybe they get an idea too. Here an example with a couple really cool pieces of wardrobe, both shot within the same session:

Photographer: Clever9Design

Photographer: Clever9Design

And there have been times when I was approached with a concept that I was unsure of. It wasn't against my limits, just something I wasn't really familiar with or something I wasn't sure about. I hope that makes sense. I don't believe in pushing any hard limits (for example, I don't shoot porn, or spreads), but I think doing something different can be really beneficial (maybe getting a little dirty, or posing with an odd prop). Or, as the question mentioned, trying some different poses. Some times I get so caught up in creating certain lines, I totally forget others. For example, I'm always arching my back, but now sometimes I try curving it up and out (like a cat). It doesn't look as sexy or whatnot, but it can look really interesting. And I'll even admit that there have been concepts that I thought I'd look a little off in and it ended up that the photographer saw a vision and I actually fit in quite well, I just didn't realize I would. Here is one example of that inspired by Frida Kahlo:

Photographer: Eric Toth

I'm not saying that every time a photographer has approached me with a concept I wasn't sure about that I accepted. That's definitely not true. But I always look at their other work and what ever information they have given me. If someone looks like they have pulled off some concepts before, then I'm much more likely to give it a go. Sometimes I just take a chance anyway, and honestly, I wish I had the time to do that more often.

Q & A #1: Pervy Photographers, Explaining Why I Shoot Nude, and Other Questions

I asked for input on from Facebook friends on what I should about next here in my diary since I was feeling a bit of a writer's block. I had several good suggestions, and I plan to get to them all eventually, but one topic that came up more than once was the concept of social views of nudes, and nude photography & modeling, and the sexualization of nudes & nude models.

I will paraphrase, but one person asked me how I feel about pervy photographers, having sex with my photographers, and then what a photographer or a man in general could do to turn me on. Yep, so there we go ^_~ And then another person asked how I deal with people who are against nudes and how I explain my choice to pose for nudes to them.

I guess the first thing I need to explain is how I, personally, see what I do. When I shoot art nudes like the one above, there is no expectation or feeling of sexuality that I am trying to portray whatsoever. Yes, I am nude, yes you can see full frontal nudity, but I did not intend for the image to be sexy or erotic. On the other side, sometimes I do intend for the image to be sexy and/or erotic, like in the one below.

However, at no point do I personally create images for the sole purpose of arousal, if I ever create anything with that intent at all it is a minor thought and not something I focus on at all. My primary objective, so to speak, is always to create some artistic and almost always with some sort of meaning and portrayal of some part of myself. Sometimes the meaning is erotic, sometimes it is supposed to be sexy, sometimes it is supposed to be about the form and figure. And I always realize that no matter what I meant it to be, some people will see it differently, and that includes some people seeing something sexual in the photo that I did not intend. And I am okay with that to a pretty open degree. I think most artists will agree that what we want is for you to feel something when you see our art. What you feel says just as much about you as it does about our art, and not everyone feels the same thing when looking at the same photo or art.

Do I get inappropriate messages and comments about my photos? Sure. Generally I either ignore them or simply glaze over them and take the compliment. Only if they get very rude or inappropriate will I kindly, but firmly try to put a stop to it. Thus far, I've never had to block anyone for that sort of thing.

Now as far as pervy photographers... this is something that takes a lot of models some getting used to and I know a lot of new models have just given up modeling because too many pervy photographers contacted them trying to push their limits and get them to pose for things they were not comfortable with. Thank goodness I did not let it deter me, and let me assure you, I've had some pretty awful offers. Also thankfully, I learned how to say no and move on. I still get offers to shoot things I have no interest in shooting that are well beyond my limits. And the funny thing to me is something I say all the time now: "Well, I guess just being completely naked isn't enough any more." Sometimes it seems nobody is happy to shoot me just as an art nude model or in the mild fetishes I will shoot, or, heaven forbid, fully clothed. They want spreads and insertion and girl/girl and all other manner of things that I simply have no interest in shooting. It can be a little disappointing to get all excited to see that you are getting a paid offer and then when you ask for details it's something that is clearly out of your range if the person had actually reviewed your portfolio at all. But this is part of the package deal of being a nude model.

I've personally never had a photographer at a shoot try to hit on me or try to turn me on (as was asked on FB). Or at least I was not aware of it. I would find this highly inappropriate, and in the case of trying to turn me on, I would likely end the shoot. I cannot really imagine any scenario in which someone would try with this me since I have a reputation for being very professional and for expecting those who work with me to be as well.

I do have people who ask me if I feel turned on when I pose and I always feel a little bad bursting that fantasy bubble, but, no, I don't. Here is a little secret: when I am posing sexy, or even erotic, I am actually more concerned with making sure my body and my face look as I feel they should. I have a lot of difficulty trying to make sexy faces, so I usually go with something more sensual and rarely do a lot of eye contact because it's hard for me reach into the moment and emote when I'm looking at the camera. I just kind of find it amusing and end up laughing, at least in my own head. Now, sometimes I do find certain types of posing to be quite euphoric when all the things are just right, when I am flowing into the poses easily and not having to strain my body too much, when the temperature is just right and their are hot lights or sunlight falling just right on my skin, and when the photographer is capturing things they seem to like and there is just a sort of nice flow to it all. That is very euphoric and feels very dreamy to me (but not sexual and it doesn't turn me on).

But even despite all of this I do still have the occasional "hater" who thinks what I do is wrong and that all nudes are porn and things like that. I used to try to explain things to them, but now I usually just let it go. I'll maybe apologize for offending them and then suggest they move on. Sometimes if I think a little explanation might help I will take the time to write one, but otherwise, I just let it go.

And then there are the curious people who want to know "why" I do it. And I tell them that I do it because I enjoy it. I enjoy being able to create art with my body, I enjoy creating the lines and curves and shapes with my body. I like playing in really good lighting and seeing how it changes as I move. And really, this is the only art I feel truly "good" at. I am not gifted in any other way, musically, as a dancer, as a painter or sculptor, etc. But with art nudes in particular, I feel like I can be part of creating a classical type of art. Sometimes I explain that it's not sexual to me, sometimes I feel like I don't need to. Sometimes I tell them more about how I enjoy anatomy and some specific parts of myself that lend themselves well to art photographer (like the convex structure of my upper rib cage which you can sort of see in the first photo above), that I actually never liked and certainly never appreciated until I began modeling. Most people who ask the question are usually already open minded enough and once I explain it, they at least seem to understand why it do or even actually appreciate it.

I've also been asked many times if my family knows about what I do. I'm not really close to my extended family, so to my knowledge most of them do not know. I do have one cousin who knows because I told him. I am much, much closer to my immediate family. My siblings all know and my mother knows, but as far as I know my father does not know. My mother found out early on and has been very supportive. She has prints of some of my self portraits and at least one from another photographer as well. She probably wouldn't like everything I do, but she trusts me and she supports me making decisions that are good for me. I'm very lucky that she is so supportive and has been for my entire life unless she really feels like she needs to step in. I have not told my father because I know he wouldn't like it and I just don't feel like upsetting him, particularly given his health issues. My siblings all seem to be indifferent towards it. None of them have ever expressed any really interest or issue with it.

I think that pretty much covers it... oh wait, that question about whether I have sex with my photographers. No, I don't. I only have sex with one and he's my soulmate (also, I borrow his camera a lot to shoot my self portraits). But most of my photographers are friends, or become friends, and that's pretty cool.

Sorry if I ruined any one's fantasies. Well, I mean, not really, but kind of. But now you know ^_~

A censored version so I have an image to share on FB and such ^_~

My Thoughts On Detroit

I am writing this in response to this article which I read today: "16 Things You Have to Explain to Out of Towners About Detroit" aka "Detroit, It's Not That Bad"

Me in one of sarees on Belle Isle, Photography: Diane Irby

I'm not "from Detroit," but I think I've found my little niche here pretty nicely. I love the art community, I love the community in general, I love the cultural diversity, I love that there are saree shops I can drive to, and I love the friends I've made here.

But honestly, if you'd told me 10 years ago that I'd be moving here, or even 5 years ago, I probably would have looked at you like you were crazy. I never liked big cities and obviously I see Detroit as a big city (though I know there are many even bigger cities). I grew up in Knoxville, TN which is fairly forward and not what most people think of when I say I'm from TN. But that was as big a city as I wanted to be in. I always wanted acres of land, a big Spanish style house, and horses with neighbors too far away to see or hear. And then I came here. I was immediately welcomed into the community. And after my recent, at that time, issues at having been run out of an artistic community in TN, I was really relieved. I learned that Detroit creatives were very different from the ones I'd met in my hometown. The Detroit artists I met had jobs if they could, or at least found ways to support themselves and their families, they actually had goals and were working towards those goals. There was (and is) still some people in the community who don't like other people, but from my point of view, people here handle it better.

My modeling didn't turn out how I had planned, but it's taken it's own little road and I discovered self portraiture and people actually recognize me here, and they follow my work. I was thrilled to meet some of the people I had only seen on the ModelMayhem forums before. The models I've met are generally nice and friendly and they support each other. Back in TN a lot of the other models, even before I was shunned (which I'm not going into, but it had to do with a certain photographer/model there and an ex of mine spreading rumors about me and such), always seemed to look at me with a little distaste. I'm not sure if it was because I was fairly well known in the community or because I posed nude or what. And I do miss being one of the top models in my area, and I miss the paycheck that came with that from booking shoots all the time. The market here in Detroit for the sort of model I am has been slim to nonexistent and coupled with my health issues that has guided me to change my gears. I do a lot of one or two day group shoots and shoot myself, but I'm cautiously venturing back into freelance shoots now too.

But creative stuff aside, there is so much awesomeness here! I love the zoo. The Knoxville Zoo still remains one of my favorite places in the world that I have been to, but the Detroit Zoo is pretty magical too. I've only been a couple times and didn't get to go at all last year, but I'm hoping when it warms up I can go back again this year. And the Detroit Institute of Arts is amazing. When I went there I saw art work that was featured in the books I've read about art. And there are so many other galleries and places to see art too.

Reflecting Detroit, Photographer: DVS

And that brings me to the events I work with. I'm going to link you to the events so you can find out more what they are really about, but here I'm going to focus more on what I do with them. The big event is in October and its called The DAMNED Show, featuring darker, introspective art, butoh & similar performances, and dinner options. We also have a masquerade ball on the third night. We get art from all over the world as well as from local artists. One of the first things I do every year is to open up and inspect the art that is shipped in. I have a nice little check list with a number for each piece of art and one of my primary jobs is organizing the art. Once the show set up begins, usually two weeks before the show, I am also in charge of volunteers and "The List" which is, as you might have guessed, a list of all the things that need to be done. And then once the show in underway, I spend the night in some fancy outfit, usually based on an evil queen, running around checking on the door people, managing the Devil Girls & Guys who sell raffle tickets for Burners Without Borders (BWB) to raffle off a ring by Atelier Gothique, chatting with patrons, watching to make sure the art is safe, and making sure people eat. I say this like I do a lot, but really, the two curators/creators of the show do a ton more than I do with hanging the art, building things, handling the administrative stuff, etc. I just do what I can do to make their jobs easier so they can focus on the jobs only they can do (which are so numerous I can't list them).

We also have other shows like Corpus Illuminata, an art show based around anatomic interpretations, which is especially lovely for me since my background is in biology, immunology, physiology, etc. I also handle the art and volunteers for this show, and the others to follow. Purgatory is our film exhibition in a similar vein theme-wise to DAMNED. At the end of the year we have Noche de Los Muertos (our Day of the Dead afterparty) and Krampus Night (our holiday/anti-holiday party and Toys for Tots & BWB benefit ). And this year we are having another tiny art show called Small Wonders along with a variety show event.

Obviously, I love this which is why I just wrote you a mini novel about it ^_~ I love organizing things and I love managing people. Last DAMNED a certain someone told me I was really good at managing people and totally made my day. I try really hard to only give people tasks they can handle and to always say thank you. We do reward our volunteers, of course, but I always try to keep in mind that they are there because they want to be and I want them to continue to want to help. And all of this brings me around, though perhaps a bit indirectly, to the fact that I have dreamed of running events for a long time. I'm not sure it was ever one of those in your face dreams, but I thought I would maybe be good at it and I knew I would enjoy it.

So Detroit has also let me follow that dream. And it has allowed me to become a more social person with awesome, supportive friends. Sure the roads are bumpy, and there are areas that I would not be comfortable going, but if I can come here and actually love it, I think it deserves at least some respect. So maybe it's not your cup of tea, but really "It's not that bad" ^_~ I really could go on and on about places that I like to go and places I like to eat, but I think I'm going to save that for another time. Let me know in the comments if that's something you'd be interested in reading.

So in closing, to me Detroit is about community, ethnic diversity, and art. It's about a new start and exploring myself. And I like it just fine.

One of my self portraits which I likely never would have taken had I not moved to Detroit

Talking About My Hair

I'm pretty sure anyone who has ever seen me, either in person or just in photos, will probably agree that I have pretty long hair. Most people call it very long, although I hesitate to say that because there are women out there with hair that is much, much longer. I dream of the day my hair stops breaks when it reaches tailbone length and gets to be mid-thigh length. But I like it the way it is now too. Right now it is about 2.5 feet (30 inches) long from the crown to the ends.

I wear my hair down 95% of the time. I put it up for cleaning, cooking, and when I workout. Otherwise, I really like it down. I don't ever really style it any more, but when I was younger I used to do little accent braids and sometimes in the summer time I will braid it just to keep it from sticking to my bare skin. I know other people are dying to put their hair up in top knots and whatever else once the weather is warm, but I like to stick to my boring styles ^_~

I've actually really only had my styled on a couple occasions. When I was a little girl, maybe 5 or 6, I had a birthday party at a salon and they curled my hair. And I don't think my hair was "done" again until I started modeling a few years ago. That must sound really odd to people who go to the salon all the time, especially when I add that my hair has never been cut, at least not since I was old enough to remember. It's been trimmed, of course, and I had bangs for a while as a kid, but what you see now is pretty much how my hair has looked for my forever, color excluded. My natural hair color is a medium sort of ashy brown but with red tones at certain times of year. It hasn't been that color since I was probably 20 or so.

I've been dying my hair myself at home for quite a while. First I went burgundy. Then a dark chocolate with chestnut streaks for a couple days, and then dark chocolate, and finally black, then blue black. I stuck with the blue black for the longest.

Me with my burgundy hair and one of my dogs, since passed

Styled by my little brother, the first time I dyed my hair black, I think

Yes, I was definitely goth, or trying hard to look like it anyway. My mother and my little brother used to take my photos before I started modeling. My mother took the top photo, and my little brother shot and styled the second photo. Drink that one in because that is the one and only instance of me ever wearing that type of hat, and a rare instance of me in a hat period.

So I had blue black hair for a pretty long while, into my start of modeling, and then about two years ago I started having allergic reactions to the hair dye. There is a chemical called PPD (I think) in most hair dyes that I believe was causing the reaction. So I started looking into natural hair dyes. I finally settled on henna and indigo aka henndigo where the henna serves as a base to help the hair take the black color of the indigo. I tried what is called a one step process first where the henna and indigo are mixed together and applied at the same time, but I didn't really get black. So then I tried the two step process. This entails mixing the henna with water, letting it set for a few hours, applied it to my hair, letting that set for at least an hour, rinsing that out, mixing the indigo, applying that to my hair, letting that set for at least an hour, and then rinsing that out, which takes about half an hour. Then I usually have to wash my hair again the next day to get the remaining indigo residue out. It's kind of a chore, but it's all a ritual and I enjoy it. Plus it fades into my roots and the rest of my previously box dyed hair really nicely.

And once I got into the henndigo I decided maybe I should try natural shampoo and stuff too. I'd already been using a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner, but I wanted to go even more natural. So I tried shampoo bars which are cold processed soaps created using oils, butters, and essential oils, etc. It took a couple times to get used to rubbing the bar on my hair, especially since my hair is so long, but they are amazing! My hair breaks less and has been getting just a little bit longer, too. They don't lather as much as regular shampoo, mainly due to the lack of chemicals, but they do get your hair clean, they smell nice, and I think they've strengthened my hair (probably by helping the cuticle to lay better). Also, I don't have to condition any more because they don't strip all the oils out of my hair and leave it dry. Just enough of the natural oils stay in and if I need to moisturize the ends I use a little sweet almond oil.

Earlier I said I don't style my hair, which is true, but I also try not to blow dry it either. I do have a blow dryer because I've found that sometimes I have to either blow dry my hair or go out with wet hair, and that causes me headaches and neck tension, so if I have to, I will let it dry about halfway and then blow dry it. I use a natural brand of heat protectant as well.

I suppose really the last thing to talk about are my hair brushing tools. I have a wide tooth comb, a boar bristle brush, and then one of those pod looking things with the plastic bristles. I was skeptical about the pod, but it's ended up being pretty nice. It doesn't snag, and it doesn't just brush over the tangles like the boar bristle one does. I do hope one day to have a really nice boar bristle brush that looks pretty that I can do videos with and show off ^_~ The one in the photo above is a vintage brush, but I don't feel comfortable really using it in my hair and the bristles are too soft anyway.

Sometimes I feel like my hair is super complicated and sometimes I feel like I do a lot less than other women.

One more hair photo:

You can get this a print on Etsy ^_~

Why I Love Zivity

So, today I felt inspired to write a post about Zivity, not really about how it works or anything (though part of that will be in here, I'm sure), but more about my experiences with it and why I'm on the site.

From my Zivity set "The Forgotten Courtesan"

If you don't know what Zivity is, you can head over to www.Zivity.com to read a basic description. From my point of view, I shoot sets of photos, usually varying from wearing lingerie to nude, either with another photographer or as a self shot photographer, then I upload those sets to the site. Subscribers aka Fans (as well as other models and photographer, aka Artists) can view the sets and if they like them, they can vote on the set. The votes cost $1 each, but I believe subscribers get some votes with their subscription each month. Once you spend that $1 on my set, I get 55 cents, the photographer gets 30 cents, and Zivity takes the remainder. So 55 cents may not seem like a lot, but if just 10 people vote 10 times each, so they put in $10 each, I make $55.

At around 100 votes per set, some going over 200, but rarely for me, I make about $55 a set right now. That number used to be more like $100 a set, but I lost some key fans and I'm working to build my fan base back up again. So anyway, I would estimate I spend a couple hours shooting each set, not including maybe another half hour to hour picking out wardrobe, doing makeup, researching poses, setting up the lights & camera, etc. Then I spend at least a couple more hours going through the photos to pick the best shots (I often shoot a few shots of the same pose), and then editing the photos. So we'll go with a low estimate of 4.5 hours spent on each set and that comes out to about $12 an hour. Except of course that I also spend at least an hour a day, on average, contacting fans, sending messages, writing on walls, etc to promote my sets.

From my Zivity set "Oh My Light"

Why am I telling you all this? Because I think it's important for people to understand what goes into a set, but also to show you that supporting artists on Zivity is something almost anyone can do and I kind of hope that some of you reading this might sign up on the site and support me. Or that those of you who are members who don't vote for me might consider sending a vote or two or more my way. If you're not a member, you can head over to www.zivity.com/join/passcode and use my passcode which is "zivitymi" (without the quotes) for a free trial. Or you can PM me on FB with your e-mail address and I can send you an invite that way.

So how come I do this Zivity thing? Well, I used to be a freelance model, so I would go around posing for other photographers and they would pay me. But then I started having my pain issues and it got to the point that I couldn't schedule shoots any more because sometimes the pain would flare up and I knew that it was going to force me to cancel shoots. Photographers really do not like that, and I do not blame them. So I haven't been able to do those shoots or have that income for a while now. But Zivity has filled in some of that gap and I am really, really grateful for that.

From my Zivity set "Pointed"

A lot of people have suggested I join other sites. I'm not going to name any of those sites because I have different reasons for not joining each one and I think mostly they are fine, just not for me. The reasons I have stuck with Zivity are:
1) The community is so diverse. My unmodified, natural self is welcome, as are plus size, tattooed, pierced, and mature models (just to name a few). There are also tons of styles from art nude to pin up to glamour lingerie to beauty and fashion, etc.
2) Fans can be fans of multiple models and I feel like this ties in to #1 because it allows fans to see all sorts of models.
3) I love interacting with fans. The messaging system is easy to use, the fans are generally very supportive and respectful, and they seem to really enjoy supporting the Artists (models & photographers).
4) I maintain the rights to my photos, and the photographers I work with maintain the right to theirs. We don't have to hand over copyrights for a one time payment. But we can still earn money from our photos on the site. This is really a huge deal, but I'm not going to go any deeper into it.
5) Zivity doesn't have what I consider porn. I have nothing against porn really, but I don't necessarily want to be on a site that has it mainly because I feel like I would be ignored and my stuff would be lost in the midst of all of the more explicit stuff. There are nudes on Zivity, full nudes, full frontal nudes, etc, but no insertion or girl/girl, etc. And people don't ignore me ^_~

Oh, and the staff at Zivity are awesome. I've rarely had an issue, but when I do have a question or concern, they handle it pretty quickly and very nicely and personally. I've heard from fans that they also welcome feedback from subscribers on how to improve the site for them.

So if you are looking for a way to support me, and perhaps a few other awesome models & photographers, head on over to Zivity ^_^

From my Zivity set "Pussycat"

PS: I removed the part about unlocking sets because Zivity staff just let me know this is no longer available.